


How Do I Put This?

by Sassy_Cage



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Acceptance, Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, Sweetness, Trans Male Character, gay shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 07:17:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11984907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassy_Cage/pseuds/Sassy_Cage
Summary: The panic that set in his chest felt heavy, deadly.It became harder to breathe in the seconds that passed.His luck was up. He was bound to find out sometime.





	How Do I Put This?

The night air was warm in contrast to Kevin's ridiculously cold room. 

He knew who it was coming in, didn't even turn to look.

"Leave the window open. 's cold."

Behind him, he hears the rustling of clothes then the sweet warmth of his boyfriend, who lies behind him, absently playing with Kevin's hair.

"What brings you here tonight, baby?"

Burying his face into Kevin's neck makes Joaquin's answer come out muffled, but understandable:

"Missed you."

Kevin smiles softly, he'd never get tired of hearing Joaquin saying that. 

It wasn't uncommon for Joaquin to sneak in, it had become almost tradition once they started dating, but there was a different air to tonight. Something softer, sweeter. 

Kevin loved everything about that moment. The warm air streaming in through the window, the warm blanket, but most of all, Joaquin's presence. Kevin had never been able to grasp all of Joaquin until now. As they were silently lying there, Kevin letting Joaquin hold him, he took everything in. Joaquin's scent, his breathing, his soft skin, his warm lips, everything that is uniquely Joaquin, Kevin took and memorized, tracked, appreciated.

They lied there together for what had to be two hours, legs entwined, arms around each other, lips occasionally pressing against each other, enjoying each other's company.

"Sweetheart, you're sweating a lot. Can you take off your shirt?"

Joaquin's breath hitches, the panic sets in and suddenly he doesn't know what to say.

"I um...."

He struggles to find the words, what is someone supposed to do in this situation?

He decides, maybe foolishly, to simply take off his shirt and let his body speak for itself.

Pulling it off is hard.

Seeing his boyfriend look is harder.

Kevin notices immediately that there's something odd. The sliver of moonlight running through his window illuminates his boyfriend's chest, which was gray until just under the chest. 

"Wh...I dont understand."

Joaquin's tough guy facade is threatened by the tears in his eyes.

"I....I wasn't....born a guy. Physically."

Suddenly, Kevin gets it.

"Ohhhhh....um...wow" is all that he can muster.

By then, Joaquin's tears have fallen and he fucking hates himself for falling apart like this.

"I'm not what you want, Preppy. I'm just...not."

Now, Kevin is confused and worried.

"Hon, what are you talking about?"

He tries to hold Joaquin's hand, but Joaquin pulls away.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about and that's whats frustrating! I warned you I wasn't good enough for you and still, you stayed! Now you know I'm not what you want, so now you'll leave! Wh-"

This time, Kevin pulls his sobbing boyfriend to his chest and holds him.

"J, I have zero idea where you got the idea that you are "not what I want". You are all that I want. I would never leave you over something so small. In fact, I am probably never gonna leave you at all."

Joaquin sniffles.

"Really?"

"Hell yeah. I might need a little help if you ever let me touch you....like....y'know....but other than that, this doesn't affect anything."

Joaquin collapses into his boyfriend's arms, relieved.

He buries his face into Kevin's chest.

" Thank you. I love you a lot, Kev."

Smiling, Kevin kisses his boyfriend's head.

"I love you a lot"

The fact that they both meant it made Joaquin feel something warm and sweet.

It felt like home. 

For once, he was right where he was supposed to be.

He was home.


End file.
